Warning the following page might cause severe brain damage, I am really not kdding you... Read at own risk, I am not responsible for any injuries sustained.   Did you Know...
> ...That LISP was Originally made for the USS Pegasus?
> ...That there are currently Three ships that use this service?
> ...That LISP is available for all Ships in Obsidian Fleet?
> ...That you can click these texts?

Other Works by Prof. Dr. Fritz von Stossenbaum Alkaseltzer

To your right you will find a list of works that the good Professor also working on next to his teachings in Superior Posting. Maybe they are helpfull if you're reading a book but have no idea what you're reading... or maybe just for a good laugh.

Anyways... Enjoy... If you Dare...


  • Basic Psychology on Federation Starships
  • Advanced Psychology on Federation Starships
  • Starfleet Medicine for Newbies, or "Only Andorians are blue"
  • Unorthodox Medicines on Random Demon Class planets.
  • I've stranded in the Delta Quadrant... what now?
  • Safe Driving for Female Captains, or "How to avoid doing it the Jane-way"
  • Advanced Helm and Flight Maneuvers, or "If at first you don't crash the ship, Troi again"
  • How to care for your pet Nausicaan
  • Cloaking Devices and You, or "When, How and Why staying hidden is a good thing"
  • Dabo for Dummies, or "How to leave Quark's with your clothes on"


  • A Day in the Life of a Redshirt
  • The Little Borg that Could - But Wouldn't...
  • Wesley Crusher Grows a Beard
  • Romulan & Juliet
  • Daddy Daddy There's a Klingon in My Pyjama's
  • Second Star to The Right and On Until Coffee Break
  • The Lord of the Self-Seeling Stembolts
  • The Thousand-year-peace: A Klingon story
  • Transporter Chief Diaries: The things I've beamed through
  • The Hitchhiker's Guide to a Galaxy Class


The Spaced Bond Films:

  1. Spaced Bond: Adm. Maybe
  2. Spaced Bond: From Cardassia With Love
  3. Spaced Bond: Latinumfinger
  4. Spaced Bond: Photonball
  5. Spaced Bond: You Only Beam Twice
  6. Spaced Bond: On Her Admirals Secret Romulan Ale Stash
  7. Spaced Bond: Latinum is Forever
  8. Spaced Bond: Live and let assimilate
  9. Spaced Bond: The Man With the Golden Disruptor
  10. Spaced Bond: The Tal'Shiar who Loved me
  11. Spaced Bond: Nebularaker
  12. Spaced Bond: For Your Tricorder Only
  13. Spaced Bond: OctoCaitian
  14. Spaced Bond: A View to a Trill
  15. Spaced Bond: The Dying Starlights
  16. Spaced Bond: Phasers to Kill
  17. Spaced Bond: Gold-pressed-latinum-eye
  18. Spaced Bond: Wesley Never Dies
  19. Spaced Bond: The Alpha-Quadrant is not enough
  20. Spaced Bond: Assimilated Another Day
  • Spaced Bond: Maybe Say Always Once More
  • Spaced Bond: Ferenginar Royale

Songs Written and Sung by Fritz:

  • Warpcore Don't Breach
  • My mommy said not to put creatures in my ears
  • She's real fine, my NCC - 409
  • It's all about the latinum
  • Hotel Caldonia
  • Bolian Rhapsody
  • (Zefram) Thank you for the Warpcore
  • Nothing Anti-Matters
  • Ferengi Rain
  • Paradise on the Bridge at Night
  • Breakfast with Tellarites
  • I Will do anything for Latinum (but I won't do that)
  • What if Q was one of us
  • Fear of the Targ

Films written and/or acted by Fritz:

  • Not Another Breen Movie
  • Andorian Pie
  • Rambo DXII - First Contact
  • The Fresh Prince of Bajor
  • Assimilation Day
  • The hunt for the Red Ocampa
  • The Dilithium Matrix
  • The Dilithium Matrix: Realigned
  • The Dilithium Matrix: Revolutions
  • Saving Redshirt Ryan
  • The Kirk, The Kahn and the Ugly
  • Once upon a time in the mess-hall
  • Silence of the Targs
  • The Tribblenator
  • The Tribblenator 2: Breeding Day
  • The Tribblenator 3: The Rise of the Pyrithian Bat
  • A Betazoid Mind
  • Harry Kim & The Philosiphers PADD
  • Harry Kim & The Chamber of Sensors
  • Harry Kim & The Prisoner of Rura Penthe
  • Harry Kim & The Goblet of Plasma
  • Harry Kim & The Obsidian Order
  • Harry Kim & The Half Blood Cardassian
  • Warp Cores: The Denobulan Menace
  • Warp Cores: Attack of the Klingons
  • Warp Cores: Revenge of the Selay
  • Warp Cores: The Romulan Empire Strikes Back
  • Warp Cores: A New Cloak
  • Warp Cores: Return of the Vorta
  • Duce Bigalow - Interstellar Gigolo
  • Assimilate This

In case you're wondering... yes we do have way to much free time on our hands...